First Joke - Nothing happens ( PLAY ON WORDS )
This joke uses a "play on words" - one word has two meanings. There is a customer who cannot understand a very simple message from somebody who is trying to help him. Enjoy the story!
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A new customer called (1)Tech Support to ask about (2) instructions from his computer's (3) user's manual. "It says, hit any (4) key and when I do that nothing happens'.
The Tech Support (5) staff member replied, "Can you try again and tell me what happens?"
The customer (6) explained, "I tried but nothing happened".
The Tech Support worker then asked, "What key did you hit?"
After (7) a moment and some (8) clinking sound the customer replied, "Well, first I tried my (9) car key and just now my ( 10) office key."
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As we could see on this conversation, the word key is the key to understand the joke.
(1) an office that can help you with machines
(2) how to do something
(3) a book that tells you everything about a machine
(4) a letter or number on a computer "keyboard"
(5) a worker
(6) said why or what, in detail
(7) a very short time
(8) the sound of metal hitting metal
(9) a key used to get into a car
(10) a key used to get into an office
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- Did you understand the joke?
- What is a " tech support "?
- Do you usually read the user's manual before installing an electronic product?
- What product the customer bought?
- What kind of key was he supposed to hit?
- Have you ever installed any product without reading the user's manual?
- What kind of keys the customer hit ?
- What does a clinking sound mean?
- What do you do when you don't understand the user's manual instructions?
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Second Joke
This joke uses an expression ("a second opinion") often used when we have a serious health problem. If we are not sure of our doctor's advice, we can get "a second opinion" from another doctor. This is very common when the decision is very important but in this joke, the decision is not so important so the doctor's final answer is quite a surprise. It's a short but funny joke, in my oppinion , of course! And I don't accept a second one!
| The doctor said to his patient: 'Your health is getting worse because you are so overweight. You are really very fat like teacher J.B. and need to lose at least 20 kilograms.' The patient replied to the doctor: 'I want to get a second opinion.' 'Okay', the doctor spoke again, 'you are very ugly too!' | (1) a sick person who goes to see a doctor (2) (we say "good - better - best" and "bad - worse - worst) (3) too heavy or too fat (4) the lowest number, maybe he needs to lose MORE than 20 kilos! (5) he wants to go see another doctor (6) past of "speak" (7) not good looking |
The doctor is using the the first meaning of "opinion", which is just his personal idea, not the opinion of a professional doctor! .
Let's talk about the joke!
- Do you use to believe in your doctor's prescription ?
- What is your opinion about your English Teacher ?
- What does "overweight" mean?
- How often do you go to the doctor?
- My opinion is that you are very intelligent. Would you like to know my " second opinion" ?
- What is the other way of saying " ugly" ?
- According to the joke vocabulary what does " patient " mean?
- What is the past of the verb " speak" ?
- A doctor says that you will be fatter than your teacher in just a week. What do you need to do?
Third Joke - A good dancer
This joke uses misdirection to make us laugh at the end. Pay attention to understand the joke.
| Fabricio took Michele out for dancing. Fabricio was having a good time when Michele suddenly said to him, “You could be a good dancer except for two things.” Fabricio eagerly asked, “What are the two things?” Michele calmly replied, “Your feet!” | (1) He brought her to someplace to have fun (2) having fun (3) very quickly, it was not expected (4) other than, besides those two things (5) peacefully |
Explanation: Fabricio was hoping for two ideas from Michele, two pieces of advice that could help him become a good dancer. If only he had different feet, maybe he could be a good dancer. But he cannot get new feet so, in Michele's opinion, he will never be a good dancer.
General Questions:
1- Are you a good dancer?
2- What kind of Music do you prefer for dancing?
3- What do you do when someone is not a good dancer?
4- Have you ever stepped on someone's toes?
5- What does the verb ' take sb out ' mean?
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Fourth Joke - Stepping on Pink Cloud
This kind of joke, about people dying and going to heaven, is common in English. Nobody knows what heaven is really like, so we can make up any story. This is a strange idea of heaven, but with a funny ending. This joke has lots of new words . For this reason you must pay a special attention on it.
| Three men died and went to (1)heaven. They had a nice time there, (2)bobbing around on the clouds, but they eventually (3)got bored of each other and went off (4)on their own for (5)a bit. When they joined up again, the first man brought with him an old, ugly and smelly woman, with a horrible, (6)cackly laugh. The others asked, "What happened?" He replied, "(7)I stepped on a pink cloud." They (8)went their separate ways again. The next time they met up, the second man (9)was accompanied by a (10)foul, (11)fearsome woman, who (12)stank so badly they all (13)gagged. The others asked, "What happened?" The second man replied, "I stepped on a pink cloud." They went their ways again, and the next time they met up, the third man brought with him a beautiful young woman, so (14)radiant they all stared. She was like a goddess! The others asked, "What happened?" This time, the woman replied, "I stepped on a pink cloud." | (1) where good people go when they die (2) moving up and down, as in water (3) they became not interested (they "lost" interest) (4) alone, each man by himself (5) for a short time (6) a loud, broken laugh in a high voice (7) walked on (8) went by themselves (9) was with her (10) dirty and smelly (11) big, angry and dangerous/! (12) smelled VERY bad (13) they choked (they could not breathe) (14) very bright, like a star |
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General Questions:
1- Do you believe that when somebody dies , he or she goes to some kind of Heaven?
2- Have you ever bobbed around like these three man? Not on the clouds of course!
3- What do you do when you get bored of somebody?
4- To step on a pink cloud is a good or bad thing? Explain your oppinion.
5- When you and Joner met yourselves. Who stepped on a pink cloud?
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Rewrite the sentences by using new terms:
A- My husband doesn't want to study with me anymore , so he decided to study alone for a while.
B- He died and now he is living in a good and peaceful place.
C- I don't like when you laugh loud.
D- JB walked on my toes. It's hurting now.
E- When I saw J.B.'s face in the darkness I got choked.
F- Do you remember that girl who was with me?
